On Friday there was a horrible tragedy that left 20 elementary school children dead - gunned down while at school. I can't seem to shake the sadness and fear that has been in my heart since. I feel so lucky that this didn't happen here, at Carson's school. And thankful that no unspeakable tragedy has happened in our sleepy little town. But now I can't help but be fearful - which makes me so angry. I don't want to let my kids out of my sight, though I still do. And I know in my head that Fridays massacre won't happen again anytime soon, but my heart still fears. I'm hopeful this is the necessary wake up call for our country to change. Not only gun control and mental health policy - but sometimes it's as simple as how we treat others. Being gracious and kind to strangers as well as friends. Being patient and tolerant to those around us. Seeing the good in people. I'm trying everyday to make change in my life and trying to get Carson to do the same.
Case in point, he recently said the word "hate" for the first time. I calmly said that's a bad word and we never say that. Didn't hear it again until this am where as I'm feeding his sister he tells me he hates me. Calmly I tell him that's a bad word, we never say that and he's on time out. I don't want to react but I never want to hear that word spoken in my house. Even in a benign way.
I feel like one of my obligations as a parent is to teach my children love kindness grace and compassion in hopes that these traits will support a strong confident and kind child. All I can do is try.
With that, I think again to the 40 parents who lost their 20 children just weeks before Christmas. I ache for them that they won't get to see their children again. And I hold my kids that much closer each day with the joy that they are still here.
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